Robert Toporek- Student, Veteran, Community Leader
A Student of Ida Rolf
My path to becoming a Rolfer, pioneering Rolfing babies and children, and being able to study and work directly with Dr. Rolf for the last four years of her life was unpredictable. Ten years after serving two tours of Duty in Vietnam, I was in Dr. Rolf's final Elementary class in Santa Monica, California.
I first encountered Dr. Rolf at Esalen Institute in Big Sure while studying methods and techniques of personal growth and its relationship to public education on a one-year Ford Foundation Leadership Development Fellowship. I was 23 at the time, a high school dropout; however, I spent two years after Vietnam working in poverty programs in Charleston, South Carolina, working with adult illiterates, teaching them essential reading and math skills and how to fill out resumes and apply for jobs.
Initially, I wanted to become a group leader and study with Will Schutz, who had developed in encounter groups. I bought a motorcycle, loaded it up, and drove out to Big Sur without knowing where I was going or how my life would change dramatically.
The first time I came across Dr. Rolf, she was walking out of a motel room in Big Sur where she had been working with one of the group leaders who had had a nervous breakdown. I didn't know who she was, but to this day, I still remember her powerful essence and the white light that was beeping off her.
My first introduction to bodywork was with Debra Medows, who helped start Esalen's massage program. She picked up my arm and said, "Let go." I thought I had, but she wiggled my arm, and wallah, I had my first experience of letting go.
My first tour of duty in Vietnam was in the infantry front line. Half of our squad was either killed or wounded. The mantra was to suck it up, hold it in, and move on.
A girlfriend of mine at Esalan kept telling me I needed to be Rolfed. I kept telling her that I didn't need it. One day, she got right in my face and said, "Oh, Bob, just do it." I realized that there was something fundamentally different about her, so I said okay. My first couple of sessions were with Seymour Carter, and they were extremely painful, so I kept going from one Rolfer to another, hoping to have a session that was not very painful.
My seventh session was with Sharon Wheeler Hancock down at the baths overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I can still remember the extraordinary feeling of mental clarity and my head on my shoulders. Before that, I had always occasionally gotten sinus headaches. Knock on wood, I've not had a sinus headache since that session.
After my third session, I felt a sense of emotional release. For the first time in my life, I felt open and could feel and express things in ways I had never done before.
I co-led three two-week open resident programs toward the end of my stay at Easlen. One day, I remember looking at a woman sitting in the middle of the room with her hands crossed around her knees. I realized that no amount of talk would get her out of that position, and at that moment, I decided to become a Rolfer.
My other choices were to work with Charles Brooks and Charlotte Selver, doing sensory awareness workshops, but it needed a better financial future. I loved working with my hands and with people, but I needed to make a living. I wanted to study with a master and decided it would be Dr. Rolf.
One day, I went to the lounge, and Rosemary Feitas was sitting there talking to Ken Price, the manager. At the time, she was Dr Rolf's assistant and gatekeeper. I interrupted her lunch and asked her if she was Rosemary. She said yes, and I said well, I'm Robert Toporek, and I want to be a Rolfer. She said excuse me, you're interrupting my lunch, and I said don't you understand? I'm Robert Toporek, and I want to be a Rolfer. She looked at me straight in my eyes and said never in this lifetime or any other lifetime should you have that thought again.
So, not knowing what I would do with my life, Seymore Carter, my Guru, told me that I had some political Karma I needed to work out and that I should go back to South Carolina and do that. So, for a couple of years, I ran for public office for City Council, once for the State House of Representatives, and once for the state Senate by petition. I had to go through 3 judges in federal court to be put on the ballot. I lost that election and was pretty depressed.
Another girlfriend of mine invited me out to California to take part in the Arica program by Oscar Ichazo. Not knowing what it was but having no other idea of what I was going to do with my life, I somehow made it out to San Francisco, found a place to live with a group of people, borrowed the money to take the course, and ended up staying there for a year. While living at the house with other people, we were doing a lot of massage work, and most of the people there were Rolfed, and they said I had great hands and should become a Rolfer. After explaining my Rosemary story, they encouraged me to try again.
By then, there was an official way to apply to become a Rolfer, no longer having to go through Rosemary, so I submitted my application. One thing led to another. My first auditing class was with Dick Demmerle, who was Dr. Rolf's son, that had become a Rolfer and helped her develop the series. We got enamored with each other. He wanted me to wait a year to take a course he would teach in New Jersey the following summer, but I was dead set on learning from the horse's mouth and begged him to get me in that class with Dr. Rolf.
Typically, six people would be in the class, but our class only had four. My partner pulled out after the second week. The other person was a guy named David Roby, whose father owned the Miami Dolphins; he was relatively wealthy, had a wife beautiful wife and two beautiful children, and was a doctor, and he knew all the answers to all the questions another person I don't remember exactly his name, but I think it was Noel and he had failed a previous class gone back to Big Sur studied with other Rolfers, and he knew all the answers to all the questions they were posing in the morning discussions I, on the other hand, was not really that clear about what they were talking about
The afternoon practitioner part of the class was run by Jim Asher, and he and I got along like oil and vinegar. Anyway, I muddled through the class, and on Sunday morning's final morning, I packed up my apartment. Someone was giving me their practice in Pittsburgh. All I had to do was go back there and start making $1,000 a week, but the selection committee said Houston, we have a problem. We can't quite put our hands or a finger on it, but you could become a good Rolfer. Still, we think you should stay here and take the EST training Earhart seminar training. Well, to say that I was a little pissed is an understatement; however, after arguing for about an hour, the bottom line was to take the course or go home.
Harvey Ruderian was my only friend in California. I called him up and explained the circumstances. He gave me a place to stay at the top of a mountain in Malibu and lent me the money to take the course. Saying yes to that was a moment that changed my life. In the course, I was looking around at all the people judging and evaluating them and realizing that they needed to be there and I was superior; however, there was a woman who kept standing up and arguing with the trainer and at one point, he said lady why don't you sit down open yourself up, and see what is possible I looked around the room realized I didn't know anybody I didn't have to say anything what did I have to lose so I gave up my resistance to being right, righteous and closed and opened up to the possibilities.
When Dick, who had also taken the EST Training when he found out what was happening, came out to Santa Monica convinced Dr. Rolf that I could come to his house in New Jersey, live with him for a couple of months, and work on three people under his supervision take his class that summer and get my certificate and that is precisely what happened.
While living with Dick, he asked me to Rolf, his youngest son Michael under his supervision and a few sessions with his other two kids. We had some fantastic conversations about Rolfing Dr. Rolf and concluded that the best time to start was in the beginning, and that's what got me on to Rolfing babies and children as early as day one and as deep as four generations.
I also realized it whenever Dr. Rolf was in town; she would always ask Dick to do this and do that and go here and go there. I told him I would take all that off his plate, and he said, great; he told me when she was coming into town and asked me to pick her up from the airport, which I did. I proudly pronounced to Dr. Rolf I don't know if you remember me and she gave me that look. I'm going to be your East Coast business manager, and she said, Do you have $5 for my bag? It just so happened that I did have $5 that day, and I got her back, put a reminder pickup truck, and started to drive her back home to her apartment. On the way home, she said she needed a secretary, and the next day, I had her one. Over the next four years, I provided all of her administrative assistants.
From that moment on, we began to develop a compelling relationship. She did an advanced class, and I wanted to sit in on it because I felt like I missed the first ten sessions when I was in California. She wouldn't let me sit in but invited me to observe when the advanced part came. Since I was an observer, I had no investment in the class. I noticed that most of the people in the class tried to prove to her how much they knew and how smart they were. She was not all that interested in that. She was interested in teaching them what she had to offer, so I learned how to sit back, learn, and listen to her lessons. It was called surrender, so I never had the kind of relationship other people had with her where they felt she was difficult.
We traveled together to DC several times to work with a Rolfer in DC and made some Rolfing presentations. I went shopping with her, took her to the movies, took her out to eat, and sometimes just hung out at her apartment talking about Rolfing and life.
I was instrumental in setting up her interview with Psychology Today; if you have not heard the audio tape, you can go to my website and listen. I was also instrumental in having her accept a speaking engagement at a conference called Explorers of Mankind, where some amazing people were interviewed and told their stories. It was an incredible experience being there and meeting those people. I also have those conversations, both audiotaped and written, if you're interested in those conversations.
I traveled with her to several board meetings and to the inauguration of the Rolf Institute, where she gave an incredible talk about structure. I also have an audio version and a written version on my website.
Around December 1977, she began discussing a project to document, demonstrate, and promote the benefits of Rolfing for babies and children. I wanted her to teach me how to Rolf babies and children, but she was uninterested. She said to follow the recipe. She also said sometimes the most challenging thing for people to hear is what she has to say, so ever since then and all of my work with Rolfing, over 300 babies and children and whole families as young as day one and his most profound for Generations, I follow the recipe.
One day, her secretary Adrian came home and said, Dr Rolf wants to do this project, and she wants to do it in Philadelphia. She wants you to set it up. I said oh great, I had no clue how to do that or what to do. Still, I started putting the pieces together with my friends living in the house with me. Little by little, we found the children. We raised the money and found some Rolfers to participate. Carol Gold, Catherine Ellison (who I would love to see), Andy Crowe, Jim Asher, and Ron Thompson were the prominent people I remember participating. We found about 10 or 11 kids. We took them through the ten sessions and produced a monograph called "The Promise of Rolfing Children," which you can also find on my website. Having Dr. Rolf in my house every day for six weeks was an incredible opportunity. It was also a lot of hard work but also a lot of fun because Dr. Rolf had a fantastic sense of humor, and when we weren't working and would have lunch together, it was just an excellent chill-out time.
She decided she wanted to do her final advanced session during that course. She wanted me to put that together, so we did that in my house. We found the Rolfers and the clients to work on, primarily people I had done the first ten sessions on. It was an incredible experience. I hadn't heard there every day. She claimed that she was having a hard time seeing. Still, there was nothing that she didn't see when we were working with our clients during this time. She also had colon cancer and needed to take naps every afternoon. Still, she was there every day and on top of everything we did, which is always an inspiring part of my experience working with her.
People often ask me what she was like, and the best thing I can say is that she was down to earth, passionate, personable, incredible with the clients, and had a fantastic sense of humor.
Since then, I have Rolfed over 5,000 men, women, babies, and children. I have either photographed or videotaped almost all of these people and have many of those videotapes up on YouTube. If you Google Rolfing by Robert Toporek, you will find many testimonials.
It is not a straight line to where I am today; from two marriages to divorces, I started to build something called a wellness Plaza, which was going to be a multi-million dollar holistic health center based around Rolfing. That failed. I was sued and spent a lot of time in court. It was not fun, but somehow, I used my line, kept my head on my shoulders, and plowed forward.
Along the way, I continued to participate in what is now called Landmark Education. I have a close relationship with the leaders of that program; Werner and Dr. Rolf have a mutual admiration thing going on. Dr. Rolf took Werner's course, and Dub Leigh Rolfed Werner. They began referring people they trained to each other's work. Since he was originally from the Philly region, I Rolfed his mother, father, aunts and uncles, and most of the people he trained as EST Trainers and now Landmark Forum leaders. I have introduced over 1000 people to his work.
In addition, I met a guy named Glenn Doman, who created a place called The Institute for the Achievement of Human Potential. I worked with them over a long period, including their methods and techniques with my work with babies and children.
Now, 49 years later, somehow, I moved officers in the Philadelphia region three or four times. I'm now in a smaller office in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania.
Over the past 20+ years, with minimal funding or actual staff, we have distributed over 25,000 refurbished computers to low-income families, schools, organizations, veterans, and anyone in need.
I have access to over 100 low-income families with babies or children with developmental challenges who would benefit from Rolfing. My next goal is to raise $250,000 to take a small group of people my non-profit, TeamChildren.org, has distributed refurbished computers to that have babies or children with developmental issues and take them through the initial series. Videotape and document the sessions and train other Rolfers/body workers on how to do what I do in the way that I do it. That's pretty much the story, Gracie, my bio.
I raised a son who is now 36 and the senior copy editor for Bleacher Report. He is married to Alex, who just finished a three-year fellowship at Johns Hopkins. They have my two grand boys, Noah, 3, and Max, who are about six weeks old. They will be moving to Nashville soon.
I also published a book, www.handsonparenting.org, a natural guide to happier, healthier, brighter kids and parents.
An ebook: http://www.miltonolive.org. The first African American awarded the Medal of Honor in the Vietnam War, I helped carry his body out of the jungle and continue sharing his inspiring story.
Robert’s Community Work
Robert has dedicated his life to promoting the power and importance of touch and technology to advance early childhood growth and development. In the late '90s, Robert brought the power and importance of touch and technology to one of Philadelphia's most impoverished, drug and crime-ridden neighborhoods. Other massage therapists and volunteers joined him; they set their tables up on the sidewalk and offered free sessions to anyone who would get on the table. They cleaned up the neighborhood, distributed books, art supplies, musical and athletic equipment, and cleaned up a block-long and vast graveyard that had been so overgrown that drug dealers and drug addicts were camping out.
Robert is now committed to raising $250,000 to teach other Rolfers and body workers what he has learned and expand this valuable program worldwide. The goal is to offer Rolfing sessions to people who have received computers from his digital inclusion program and have babies or children with developmental challenges. These families could barely afford $100 for a computer.
Where to find Robert
Robert currently practices in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, continuing his work in sharing the benefits of Rolfing babies and children.
To find out more about Robert: https://rolfingtoporek.com/about-robert/